E Xmas Fairy

CHRISTMAS FAIRY

I am a little fairy
On tap o' the Christmas tree
It's no' a job I fancy
Well, how would you like to be me

Aw' tarted up wae tinsel
It's enough to make you boak
An a couple o' jaggy branches
Rammed up the back o' your froack

An' these wee lights a'roon me I canna get my sleep
An' there's the yearly visit
Fae Santa – the big fat creep!

On Christmas day I'm stuck up here
While you're aw wirin' in
An' naebody says "Hey you up there
Could you go a slug o' gin?"

It's nae joke bein' a fairy
The job's beyond belief
You've got to go roon' the wean's beds
An' lift their rotten teeth

But o' aw' the joabs a fairy gets
An' I've mentioned only some
The very worst is sitting up a tree
Wi' pine needles up yer bum

When a' the fairies meet again
By the light o' the silvery moon
You can tell the Christmas fairies
They're the ones that cannae sit doon

The Christmas tree's a bonny sight
As the firelight softly flickers
But think o' me... I'm stuck up here
Wi' needles in ma knickers

So soon as Christmas time's right by
An' I stop bein' so full o' cheer
I'll get awa back to Fairyland
An' I'll see yous a' next year